KEEP CALM AND CURRY ON

When I was young, my Mom would cook curry, roti and other West Indian food and 

I HATED IT. 

I hated the smell, I hated the spice, I hated how people looked at me when I ate it, I hated the questions and I hated that she cooked it. 

I HATED IT AND EVERYTHING THAT HAD TO DO WITH IT.

My Mom immigrated to Canada as an adult from Guyana. I have had to explain where my Mom and Dad are from my whole life. I don't exactly know why the question, 

"where are you from?" 

is so important to people. The follow up to that question is, 

"what language do they speak there?"

and 

"where is Guyana?"

Guyana is in South America, they speak English. 

Growing up, my Mom did not cook a lot of West Indian food. I think because my sister and I didn't really like it. We were secretly becoming Canadian. She also didn't cook a lot of boxed or canned foods. I remember going to friends' houses and they ate things that I had never heard of. Until a few years ago, I had never had Hamburger Helper (maybe thats for the better). I was forever jealous of other kid's lunches at school and Betty Crocker meals. 

I went to a school where I could count on one hand how many "brown kids" there were. I didn't know the difference until one day a girl called me a chocolate bunny and I wasn't allowed to play with them. I told the lunch monitor and she made me go to the office. 

It became a big deal to everyone else but me.

Everyone assumed that all brown kids are Indian and I was also dropped in that group. I didn't mind so much until other kids made fun of my lunch or made fun of that fact that I was brown. I get it, kids don't know better but it was still a weird feeling- to be made fun of something I'm actually not so much of. I am part Indian but that doesn't make up all my heritage. Even if it did, why was it so funny and gross to other kids? 

I felt like a closet brown person, if that's even possible. At school, I'd hang out with the white kids and pretend at home we ate canned soup, hamburger helper and boxed meat. Secretly, I was wondering why didn't my Mom cook this stuff??? It tasted so good. 

I remember a specific time, I came home from school begging my Mom to buy me fruit snacks for my lunch. She came home from the grocery store with dried fruit, thinking these were fruit snacks.

I cried. 

I couldn't understand how she could not know what fruit snacks were. I didn't realize at the time that my Mother was not brought up on boxed or canned food. Everything was fresh produce and making things from scratch. I think most things are curried too (which I still don't care for). 

I felt so embarrassed and ashamed that curry was a part of my Mom's culture and because of the way other kids reacted to it. I never brought it for lunch and I never talked about where my Mom was from because of all the questions and the ignorant comments. 

By high school, I had found out about Michelinas frozen meals and I had her buy those for my lunch. She must have been dying on the inside to know I'd rather eat frozen meals than fresh food. P.S I still LOVE Michelinas. 

My Mom was raised by a stay-at-home Mother who cooked everything for her 8 children. I watched my Mom cook roti and chicken curry tonight and as she rolled out the roti she told me something I did not know- her Mother never taught her how to cook. I was somewhat surprised because she makes many of my favourite dishes. My Mom taught herself how to cook with some help from my Dad... I realized she had to learn quickly on how to cook for Canadian children who were busy SPREADING PB AND J ON ROTI! As she cooked the curry she talked about the fresh fish they have back home, how her Mother cooked everything and how going out to eat was not a thing like it is here. She said going out to eat was like telling people you don't want to or don't know how to cook. Going out to eat here is a favourite past time, a time to relax and not have to cook, enjoy other's company, a time to celebrate. 

 

As she finished the curry, she asked me since when do I like curry but I couldn't remember. One day I tried curry and 

it wasn't bad. 

I was an adult by then. Now, I look forward to when she cooks chicken curry. She has always been proud of where she comes from and has never shown embarrassment. 
No matter how many times she's asked to spell, pronounce or write her name down. 

My Mom's name is Indra and she has taught me how to cook with pride, to try new things and to not care what anyone thinks.  

Learning about another culture's food (albeit my own culture) sheds light on different ways of life and the ways that food impact and shape who you become. 

U ARE WHAT YOU EAT